Apologies.
Apologies for not being able to understand the dynamic and multiparametric nature of your kinesphere. I understand that you have always respected and maintained the dignity of my space, which I havent actually been able to reciprocate all along. I tried to argue, but failed because my arguments do not hold ground. The base I stand on is very slippery, with nothing to hold onto.
As an afterthought, I must say that I do admire your gandhian fearlessness, as always. It is always best to call a spade a spade. Somewhere, I may never be able to learn where this bravery comes from. I guess it comes from a lot of suffering and pain you have gone through in your past.
As you often say, you have nothing to lose, so why be afraid. I do not know why I cannot see this. Maybe God has given me so much that I always fear losing it. Maybe God has not given you as much as he gave me. So I do fear to lose what I have.
Somewhere in my mind, the old saying is ringing. It said - If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were... Past showed me how true this was. But I prefer not to go thru it again and again. I prefer to lead a love filled life. But my preference is too personal in nature. It would never apply to others. Whatever I prefer, should never be a chain in your feet. I respect your space and will do so (more) in the future. I would try my best not to voilate its sanctity again.
I am sorry. And I am sorry for my ramblings, bumblings and stumblings today.
I hate my impatience.
I love my weakness because it is my strength too.
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