Jonny says - Shut Up.

Tonight, past just walked past me, leaving me alone with the present. Jonny walked around in the room as I lazed on the couch, trying to tell my head to stop spinning and buzz off. I found myself bored of myself. And I know when I find myself boring; it’s time to shut up.

Jonny came close and lowered on me, and flashed his surgeon’s knife on my forehead, Like an expert, he made a clean cut, just skin deep, on my scalp. The layer peeled like old bark of tree, and thoughts overflowed out, slipping on the old mosaic floor.

Maybe now I can sleep, at least I thought so. But these thoughts all around the room were jumping with the new found freedom. They partied around as drunken vagabonds, shouting loud, playing, fighting, singing and even throwing up.

Even Jonny was bugged. He decided to trample them all. He wore those army boots and jumped over them. Alas, they slipped by, and Jonny fell flat on his face. These thoughts rounded him and pounded him, yelling in his ears.

Jonny says – enough – shut up - go to sleep. As if it was easy... lol

plugged in , am i still producing electricity?

what is the difference between being needed and being wanted?
and what hapens when one is neither needed nor wanted, just accepeted because he is there.
slowly acceptance also startes fading away.
Life feels like plugged-in ( matrix ishtyle ).
Even illusions look like programmed...
my life is no longer about me. guess, it never will be. even when i am left alone, which I will be, eventually. I know I will be left alone .. sooner or later ...
its growing on me . i seem to know it. or i dont?

Further Flights

Sitaaron ke aage jahaan aur bhi hai,
Abhi ishq ke imtimhaan aur bhi hain,

Tu shaaheen hai, parwaaz hai kaam tera,
Tere saamne aasmaan aur bhi hain

Have I gone mad?

Insane blankness is clouding my mind.

There is a way we walk, and then suddenly bump into an invisible wall …

The path ahead is getting hazy and the vision seems diluted …

Black clouds hover around and my hand, which was held minutes ago, feels empty and cold.

No matter what, I am extremely frustrated with myself. Feel like fighting, and being angry, and shouting.

Have I gone mad?

Sometimes, the silence of people is so loud that it deafens ….

Is hype important to show that one holds value?
Why value / importance has to be shown using shoddy means?
Why can’t value exist in a natural and subtle state?
Hmm.. Is natural and subtle one and the same thing?
Guess not.. Everyone has his own way to add value to something.

Anger is not one of my natural instincts, and it I am not comfortable when I am angry.
I can’t be angry in my natural state. I love peace. But I am not at peace…

I am angry with myself .... very angry. I wanna break my head into tiny bits ...

Do I make sense? Well. Guess I never have …... Guess I never will...

Where do I ..... lol....