What am I looking for?

Each step looks like a bigger burden.

I have no clue what I want. And do I really want all this? Do I really want success? money? offices? houses? power? I do not know.

Most of the time I feel I need all this, and much more. I need a better office, maybe a good bank balance, security, power. It may make me happier.

But, then, it all looks futile. Whatever I have today, is more than what I had asked for, just a decade ago. Why do i think i wished for less? Why do I feel my vision was smaller?

Am I happier than I was a decade ago? Yes, definately I am happier. I am happier because I have learnt to fight the world and come out less injured on my pride.

Then why do i feel its all futile. Everyone is unhappy, sad, broken somewhere inside. I am unable to help. Everyone is confused. So am I. It all looks like an illusion.

We are told, taught and explained that if if we have all this .. we will be happy...

is is true? guess not...

Remembering Sahir's words....

हर इक जिस्म घायल,
हर इक रूह प्यासी।

निगाहों में उलझन,
दिलो में उदासी।

ये दुनिया है या,
आलाम-ए-बदहवासी,

ये दुनिया अगर मिल भी जाए तो क्या है ॥